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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, giving her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but companions help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a short video here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to honor Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their friendship?